Trying to Forget

Today has been a day of trying to forget.

Remembering a time in your life that has hard, but from many years ago.

One of my Grandfather's passed away 14 years ago today.  Looking back at that time I didn't quiet understand what was going on even if I was old enough too.

I have lost people before, but not like this.

As we get older we tend to understand more clearly what is happening.  We won't be able to see them, hear them, or touch them ever again.  We can close our eyes and see what they were, watch videos to hear their voice, and hold on to what they have touched.  these things will never replace or come close to how it was.

It has always been said that with death comes new life.  For every life given one must be taken.  We all have a death sentence.  I mean we hear these all of the time, but do we really believe it?

All but the last one can be taken how one wants.

As I look at social media tonight there was someone that announced that they were expecting (no surprise there) yet on another part further down, one person had lost a loved one.  I can see how that statement can be true.  I hate that it might be, but either way you have to decide it for yourself.

I will always have a hard time this with day, no matter the time in my life.  Fourteen years later and I still remember the day as if it were today.  Most of us have a hard time remembering the good, but never the bad.  Our world would be a better place if we remember all of the good, and only few bad.

I know that what I am going through will stay with me all of my life.  it might not be the worst thing and there might be others that are going through worse, but for me not having children is the worst.

For my family losing a parent is the worst.  For those that knew my Grandfather he was one of a kind.  Kind soul, caring, loving, and didn't have much to say, but when he did you listened,  I wish my husband would have gotten to meet him, but that would have been almost 10 years later.

I always wonder what my Grandfather would think about me now.  Would he be proud?  Would he be able to give me advise about what I should do?  Would things still be the same?

There are times that I just wish I could see him, hear him, and get a hug.  That is where those stairs to Heaven would be nice.  However, I have not found those and the closest thing that I will ever get to those things is in my dreams.

I pray for those that are bringing life into this world for you need to know how short life really is.

You need to understand that you will have struggle and that you should understand that going into this.

Make sure that you understand that God has given you this life because he can.  Take care of it and yourself, because life is short.

If you leave with only a few things from this make sure those things are.  Love your loved ones and hold them close, you never know when it will be "that" time.  Understand that life can be given, but also taken at any point also.  That baby that you have means that you are lucky and blessed.