Trip

I love my weekends.  Weekends with my husband, family, and my friends.  This weekend I am spending it with all.  Not for a reason that is happy nor sad.  For a reason that most people wouldn't even think about.

 

This weekend is my husbands Yellow Ribbon Ceremony.  What this means is that it is a day where everyone in the Army or military unit get together and talk about information before a deployment. 

 

That is right I said the word....deployment.  Let me break it down like this.  It is something that families in the military hate to hear.  It is something that we don't look forward to.  It is time spent AWAY from loved ones.  Birthdays, holidays, graduations, weddings, births and many more things missed.

 

We can not join them.  We can only sit back and think about.  We don't let it run our lives and we take it with a gain of salt and keep moving.  Most of us think of it as a speed bump in the road and thats that.  Others let it run their lives and consume every moment of their lives.  We knew that it was possible that he would go in the eight years that he would be in.  We just didn't think it would be this soon. 

 

Let us think about what I said for just a moment.  That is right....this is just my point of view.  Not his or any other person in the military.  They all have different views.  Some are excited others not so much.  Some think of this as a great thing others don't want to.  I know they are all worried, scared, and nervous.  They, however, will not let this show.  The are strong and know that this is their job.  Just like everyone that works, some days are better than others. 

 

We all continue to go about our lives and forget about those that are over there right now.  Families that do this everyday.  They don't seek special treatment or want a thank you.  They just want the other half of thier heart back.  This is what I will want in the next few months.  Yes, it will be hard.  We have to look at the happy points that when they come back we will get the firsts all over again.  First kiss, first hug, and first everything agian. That is LOVE and it never fails. It just grows.

Remembering...

So this year marks six years since you have been gone.  This is the hardest other than the first year.  Everything was the same as it was that year.  The snow, the smells, the things I even saw.  It doesn't matter how long it has been I will always remember that day like yesterday.

 

A lot has happened since that day.  Many weddings, many births, and many more deaths.  It makes it easier thinking that you are there looking down on us now.  Sitting up in your own personal heaven.  You always knew what to say.  I just wonder what it would be like if you were still around.  Where we all would be, who we would be, and who we would be with. 

 

I know that we don't walk alone on this earth.  God is there walking with us and I hope that the ones that we loved are walking with us too.  Pushing us in the right direction of where this life will take us. 

 

 

 

Faith...

I have never been a real big "believer" in God or a higher power. I lost my faith a long time ago when I lost people that were very close to me. I have been tested, pushed, crushed, and brought down. My faith in a lot of things has been tried and torn away. It wasn't until this past year that I took that step back.

When my husband joined the Army I was crushed. I knew that he wanted to and was supportive of him. I could only think how I was going to do this not how we were going to do this. We took each other for granted and didn't realize that until he left. He was gone for months and in that time we couldn't really talk; we could only write. We learned how to communicate and how to lean on others around us during that time.

My faith in God has been slowing coming back. With some friends help and some pushing from Him I'm sure. I realize that it wasn't always just about me or us, but about others around us. Despite what is going on and in the next few months what will be happening I hope that my faith continues to grow.

James 1:3 knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance.